Monday, August 20, 2012

Temperatures are Rising...{some follow up questions}

Wow!  What a response I received to my last post!  I am often reluctant to write about controversial topics, but God never releases me from His stirrings, so I post, pray and duck!

I am fully aware, from viewing other courageous bloggers, that the topic of modesty often receives a huge backlash of comments...often downright mean ones!  Thankfully, I have not received anything but honest questions and great encouraging discussion!

With that said, I would like to put some questions out to my readers.  I received two private questions regarding the topic of modesty and I'd love to hear some varied input! {Post your answers in the comments below!}

First question: What if my unbelieving {read not-yet-Christian} husband prefers I dress in a more provocative manner?  Not something I am truly comfortable with, but I do desire to please him...I'm torn! {I would add here, what if your husband is a believer and simply has different, less modest standards than you do?}

Second question: How about us women that are a bit more "endowed" than others?  It seems that finding something fashionable, but still appropriate can be a bigger challenge for us than for our "smaller" counterparts.  Any suggestions?

Great challenging questions!  I would truly love to read your answers!  Here are my responses, but I'm sure there are others out there who have great insight!

Question #1:

Ultimately, if you are a believer in Christ, then you answer to Him first and foremost!  You will stand before His throne and, as His follower, you cannot use your husband as your excuse.  Simply because you are asking the question, tells me that your heart is likely in the right place. {But you are not answering to me!}  If your husband is willing, take him shopping with you.  Have the discussion beforehand about how you are willing to dress a certain way for him in private, but when you are in public, you need to dress differently.  Let him know that you would love his input and ask him to help you pick clothing that you find appropriate but he still finds attractive. 

If he is open, you could even discuss with him your desire to only have his eyes...perhaps he simply hasn't considered that other men would be gazing upon what is only meant for him!

Question #2:

Being that this is an area that I can't empathize with, my only suggestions would be camisoles.  I do know that this option doesn't work for the camisoles can tend to sag down after a bit.  Perhaps simply choosing a "crew style" neckline and then accessorizing with a beautiful necklace would work!  Hopefully my readers have some more input!!!

Thanks in advance to everyone who posts some suggestions!

Thanks for stopping by!  Be Refreshed!


  1. Just a helpful hint for those looking at the second question :) I think there is way to much popularity on the "V" neckline. I myself love a scoopneck with my collarbones. Even high necked blouses/dresses can be very flattering, without having that 'am I gonna slip out' question always in your head. It's harder to find these styles, but they are worth the search.

    1. Great tip! Would you mind sharing some resources that you have found for the scoopneck look? Thanks!

  2. Question 1 ~ I would explain to your husband why you'd like to keep covered - to keep your body for his eyes only... because you want to share yourself with him... and only want him (no other man) to look at you with desire.

    Question 2 ~ Would these be helpful?

    For our family we have chosen not to wear anything that we know might cause someone to look a little too long. I reserve those clothes for my husband only! ;) I love this quote from Michelle Duggar.

    "And so in our dress -- whether we're doing activities that require us to climb, ride a horse, bike, swim, whatever -- we just want to keep the thighs and torso covered; we don't want to play peekaboo so that there's a visual element that might defraud someone.

    For us the definition of the word defrauding is to stir up desires in someone else that cannot be righteously fulfilled. Now, granted there are a few people out there who could be stirred up by a cardboard box all the way from head to toe, but regardless we want to maintain modest dress."