Lullabye and Goodnight...

So a while ago, I was asked about my philosophies on babies and sleep ~ do I let them cry it out, do I co-sleep, etc.?

I know this is a very controversial subject, so I want to go into this conversation saying, "We need sleep! We all do, babies, children, teenagers {though mine might beg to differ}, adults.  When our sleep banks are empty, we can experience all sorts of ailments, including mental health issues.  So, sometimes you have to do what is right for your family."

OK - that said, here is what it looks like in our family!

When our babies are brand new and until they are about 6 months {give or take} old we co-sleep with them.  Now, I can hear some of you saying, "that is so dangerous!" and "Don't you worry about you or your husband rolling over on the baby?"  Remember...we are doing what works for us!

I discovered co-sleeping long before the term was popular, when our 22 year, Tristen, was a baby.  At that point in my life, I was a die hard, "they should be in their own bed" person.  Then one night, in a state of sheer exhaustion, I brought her to bed to nurse.  While nursing her, I ended up falling asleep!  The next morning, I awoke completely refreshed with her by my side and she didn't sleep in her own bed another night until she was about 6 months old.

Now, we usually have a bassinet in our room.  I will change the baby and nurse him or her, and put them to bed in the bassinet.  When they wake up, I bring them to bed with me, and we spend the rest of the night together.  When the baby is between my husband and I, I put my arm around the baby so that if he were to begin to roll our way, I simply swat him a couple of times and he rolls back.

This method has worked for 8 babies.  We have never even had a close call with one of us rolling over onto the baby.  (I do want to caution, that if you use any sort of drugs, including prescription, or alcohol - you SHOULD NOT co-sleep!)

This has worked for every baby but one ~ Hudson!  From day one, Hudson would not nurse in a lying down position!  I spent our first night home with him sleeping in a rocking chair while he nursed in a more upright position.  It wasn't until he was a year old that we discovered he had acid reflux...but that is a story for another day.

So, how do we transition?

Somewhere around the 6 month mark,  I start finding that the tossing and turning of the baby causes less sleep than getting up with them in the middle of the night would.  So, they get the privilege of sleeping in their own cribs!

This has looked different for different children!  I AM NOT a "cry it out" mom!  My husband feels even stronger than I do about this!  Honestly, I have asked myself, "would Mary have allowed Jesus to cry it out?"  To which my heart tells me, "no"! 

Does this mean that my kiddos don't do a bit of crying in their cribs?  Well, sometimes...  Sometimes I have had a kiddo that is obviously fit throwing and not simply needing food or comfort.  Sometimes I have turned down the monitor intending to get out of bed and then find myself waking later with a baby that went back to sleep.  Sometimes I have allowed a few short minutes of crying to see if my child will settle themselves.

Some of my children have been champion sleepers!  Some of my children have needed Mama multiple times in the night.  I go with my heart!

There are some tips for getting children to be more on your schedule than their own:

Routine, routine, routine!  I am not saying, "schedule, schedule, schedule!"  {In my experience, mommies who have strict eat/sleep schedules for their babies end up losing their milk supply early.}  But, a routine is important.  We all have natural routines that bring us comfort and will awaken our systems - the morning shower, coffee, breakfast - or tell our systems it's time for sleep - changing into jammies, reading for a short while, prayer.

The same goes for children.  They will know when it is bedtime if you have the same routine every night.  Currently with Claire {11months} we get in our jammies, nurse, read a few stories, sing the same three songs, then lie down in the crib {with her dolly and the same blanket every night}.  She rarely fusses!  While I am working through this routine, I say, "it's time to go nigh - nigh" multiple times. 

My older "littles" get a similar routine - except they don't nurse! Papa usually does their stories while Mama is putting baby down.

Remember ~ "Longest days, shortest years!"  Try to keep your lack of sleep in perspective!  When my "olders" were little, I was constantly working for them to sleep through the night! I longed for it!  I felt like a bad mom if I couldn't get them on my schedule.  As I have had more babies and more years to work through it, I realize that this time passes so quickly and those middle of the night moments are fleeting! 

One last thought!  I do believe the Bible speaks to some of these topics! 

Regarding co-sleeping: Luke 11:7 "Then the one inside answers, 'Don't bother me. The door is already locked, and my children are with me in bed."  {Ken tells me it's because they didn't all have beds to sleep in - it still sounds like co-sleeping to me!}

And of course there are multiple references to "the night watches":




“Arise, cry out in the night, as the watches of the night begin; pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord” (Lamentations 2:19a)

“I rise before dawn and cry for help; I have put my hope in your word. My eyes stay open through the watches of the night, that I may meditate on your promises” (Psalm 119:147-148)

Embrace the night watches! Use the time to pray and meditate on His word!  See what God may have to speak to your heart as you are comforting your precious blessings!

Please, please send me your questions!  Surely many have arisen!  I will answer them in the comments section!

Thanks for stopping by!  Be Refreshed!