Wednesday, February 8, 2012

What's Love Got To Do With It? {Day 1 of True Love Series}

With Valentine's Day approaching, we are deep in the "Season of Love"...only how many find themselves disappointed by their lack of:  

  • a spouse/boyfriend who really knows them enough to buy the right gift, flowers, etc.
  • "Sweet Nothings" spoken in loving adoration
  • "I would walk 1000 miles" kind of devotion
  • a spouse or boyfriend at all!
This is only a limited list of why Valentine's Day can be such a disappointment if we don't have a true understanding of what love really is!

I tend to really dislike "chic flicks" because they portray relationships in a Hollywood light where unrealistic expectations are sold to women as the norm to strive for! 

So what is love? 
How do we have right ideas about it?
How do we find True Love in a fallen world?

First, we should start with what True Love isn't!

True Love is NOT a feeling!

While it is true that one can have emotions around loving someone, it is not the source of our love.   Just because I felt butterflies when I first met my husband, does not mean I was in love with him. I get butterflies when I ride roller coasters too and while I do love a good roller coaster ride, I'm certainly not committing my life to one! {Well, maybe in one sense, but you know what I mean!} So often I hear, I just don't have that "loving feeling" anymore!  But really, those first feelings are immature and not the stuff to build lasting relationships on!

 True Love is NOT words!

"He doesn't tell me he loves me anymore!"  "He used to compliment me and build me up!" "Maybe we're just not in love anymore!"  Ladies!  If this is you...stop right where you are...I want you to focus on the object of these statements. It is Me!  Me! Me! Me!  Only God can be your true source of love, get in His word - know how He feels about you - be filled by Him - when you are, your spouse's words won't define you anymore!  {I am not saying that hearing an "I love you" from our spouse isn't an OK desire, but don't dwell on it too much.}

True love is NOT self serving!

What is the Golden Rule?  Love your Neighbor as Yourself!  This is also one of the greatest commandments with, Love your God with all your heart, mind and strength! {Luke 10:27} Again, I am back to what the focus of who our love should be ~ others!  This actually means putting your spouse and their desires above your own! Practically this could simply mean asking your spouse what he wants to do with your spare time, money, talents...then doing it!

True Love is not found in a mate!

Simply ~ God is love!  We will never find our long term satisfaction anywhere else!
{I will elaborate on this point in a later blog, but if you are single or in a lonely marriage this series applies to you too!  Your true source of everlasting satisfaction will only ever come from the One who pours out His love by the Holy Spirit!  Trust me - you want this kind of love!}

I hope I am not leaving you disappointed...I can feel the "but, what is love, how do I get it..." thoughts.  Hang in with me...come back...I pray you will be fulfilled!

Thanks for stopping by! Be Refreshed!


  1. I like this subject and have thoughts around it too. God's love is the real love we all need. If we walk with God he blesses us with our desires and all falls into place. It's not easy but it is true...Can's wait to read more in your next blog...

    1. You are right! When we put our eyes upon Jesus and His ways, His desires become our desires and we are fulfilled!{Matthew 6:33} <3

  2. I just started reading your blog and I love this post! Thanks for the tips today on rivalry:)

  3. Love this. I've always said that "love" is a verb, way more than a feeling. It's not something you feel for someone as much as something you DO TO someone. You really hit the nail on the head with expectations. We often expext the other person to just make our lives idyllic and wonderful, and when they fail to do that we fall "out of love". Unfortunately it took me a couple of broken marriages to figure this out. Knowing God is the only we'll ever be complete. Looking for another human to complete us will only end in disaster. They can compliment, but not complete us.