Thursday, March 8, 2012

Into the Arms of Jesus {Loss Mentioned}

OK – so there is no easy way to brooch this subject, so today I am diving in…

{Ashley Nelson Photography}

As many of you know, I often pray about what God would have me blog about and, over the past few days; this one particular topic keeps coming back to the surface.

Only, again, I have found myself wrestling with God!  “Really, God, that isn’t a very uplifting topic. I want people to walk away from my blog feeling refreshed, with a smile on their face not burdened.”  But, as He always does, He reminds me that “His ways are not my ways”…I cannot fathom how He might use my obedience to comfort someone or shed light in another’s life…so here goes…

A few weeks ago I discovered I was pregnant!!!  Our kiddos having a running joke about Lora and Ken plus 10, so I knew they would be excited to take the traditional trip to The Spaghetti Factory where we would make the announcement that a new blessing was on its way.

Ken and I were excited, but both of us found ourselves a bit guarded as we have friends who are experiencing a very difficult pregnancy and we have been walking through the “imploring the Lord for a miracle” days with them. We wanted to be compassionate and considerate of how our news may come to them.  Our timing would need to be well thought out…

So, as is typical, a 28 day cycle became 30, then 35…and Ken was asking when I would test…

One Thursday morning, I decided…OK, today’s the day…and there was a shadow of a line.  Some of you have seen these, the “is that a line, or is that where a line would be” result.  That afternoon, Claire had a one year check up, so I spoke with our Dr. about it.  She quickly said, “Let’s do a test here!”  That test turned out negative.  She told me to wait another day and test again…

The next day, I tested again and there was a faint positive line – definitely a line…but very faint!  So, just to be sure, I waited a few more days and took another test…this test had the same faint line…and, I had started spotting!

As the process of a miscarriage ensued…I found myself distancing myself from this little one who was not to be.  My thoughts began to have an indifferent undertone. I was trying to deny my disappointment.

Then I received an email from a precious woman whom I had ordered  pregnancy tests from…her words of comfort to me around the miscarriage spoke of not keeping this baby “at arm’s length” in my heart.

I finally allowed the doors of healing to be opened and God reminded and challenged me about what it is I believe about EVERY life!  Since I believe that life begins at conception,  then, though this child was but a whisper to me…he still existed…he was still my child…I will one day meet this little one in Heaven!

Sweet friends…I know many of you have experienced the same feelings!  As I am typing, memories flood my head.  Memories of attending my sister – in – law’s birth to a son that would not take a breath on this earth. Memories of so many women I known who have lost a baby or babies from their womb, memories of a friend who lost a twin but went on to birth it’s sister, memories of my friends, my cousin, my daughter! Memories of women who made a choice to end the life of their baby…but will forever be missing a piece of their hearts!
The purpose of every child is to glorify God! 
 Even those babies that we will not meet here on earth have a purpose…

Romans 11:36 (NLT) says it this way:
“For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory. All glory to him forever! Amen.”

And I know that the final question that most of us women ask is, “why?”  “Why me?” “Why does so and so have so many children and I don’t?” “Why are children born to women who {name the sin}, but I can’t give birth to one?”

Ladies, I do not have this answer!  I only know that God is Sovereign, He is your Comforter, and some things we are not meant to know the answer to.  Trust in Him!  Lean on Him!  He has not abandoned you!

And, if this is a topic that hits home for you, can I encourage you to celebrate your little ones life?  Find something meaningful, even if small, to remember your precious blessing (s). Perhaps a plant or tree, a necklace with that child’s birthstone, or simply a letter to them…just don’t keep them at arm’s length…it is never too late!

Be Comforted!

*{Revised}  One area I did not cover is the viewpoint of the men!  Since my blog is aimed mostly to women, I tend to write toward them.  I completely want to acknowledge that feelings of grief and loss are just as strong for the men as the women.  Often I think men do not know how to respond in these situations...silence is not indifference!  Try to keep the lines of communication open...lean in together...God can and will bring you through!

Thanks for stopping by!  Be Refreshed!


  1. Beautifully said, Lora. I am so sorry for your loss. God bless you!

  2. Beautiful! I wish I could hug you right now <3

  3. Oh my sweet sister. I am so sorry for your loss. Lean into Him and take rest. I will be praying for both you and Ken.

    Loving you,

    1. Love you!!! So blessed to have you as my sister!

  4. Lora, thank you for sharing on this very difficult subject in obedience to God. I am sorry for your loss. It isn't easy knowing how to grieve these short lives -- I like what you said about celebrating the lives of these precious souls. I have struggled with knowing what is appropriate...with a life so short, I feel alone in my grief and that perhaps the depth of my sorrow is somehow wrong. I have three children I will meet some day in Heaven...and I rejoice! I will be praying for you.

    1. I think that is exactly the sentiment that most women feel...what is appropriate? I believe that both your depth of sorrow and joy for the meeting in Heaven is exactly what you should experience!

  5. Lora,

    I am sorry for your loss. I am thankful that you posted this though. I've been dealing with the heartache of miscarriage from my last pregnancy, and now the threat of miscarriage this time around. I am so thankful that you listen to what God tells you to share. Thank you so much for speaking into my life.

    1. You are a constant source of support, inspiration, and love. The world is a better place with you and the ones you have brought into it! Thank you for always being there for me and so many others. I love you!

    2. Oh Rachel! I love you too!

    3. @Anonymous

      Praying for God's miraculous healing and rest for your spirit in the journey!

  6. (((((((Lora and Ken))))))) I am so sorry for y'alls loss, but so thankful that you have faith and comfort in the knowledge that your little one is indeed in the arms of Jesus.

  7. I meant to reply to this a while ago...thanks so much for sharing this one. I've gone through it too. Hugs, and I've wanted to tell you that in person. xo